By Bob Myers.
Explaining how to change the world is quite simple: doing it is quite difficult. There are three steps to take if you want to change one other person, or a group, community, nation or the whole world.
First, you need to identify exactly what it is you want to change and why you want to change it.
Second, you need to demonstrate how you think it should be.
Third, you need to persuade the people involved to change.
STEP ONE: Identify what it is you want to change and why.
You need to be able to clearly state what you are concerned about and how you are affected by it. You may be unhappy about some action, or attitude, habit, ritual, rule or law; it could be an expectation or responsibility. It may be part of a culture or system. It may involve money, status, possessions or rights but, in every case, it will involve changing the beliefs, values or actions of other people. You may want a bureaucracy to change but it is people who make decisions at every level of a bureaucracy.
Your reason for wanting the change will include mention of the effects of some physical, material, mental, emotional or spiritual harm. Expressing that harm may involve references to health, feelings, reputation, and senses of security, belonging or importance.
Before deciding what to do, you also need to identify what you can change and what you can’t change. When you do that, you can focus on changing what you can change.
This involves coming to terms with the myth of being able to change other people. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot force other people to change. However, you can influence other people to change. The truth is that you can only control your own actions towards other people and your responses to what they do. Other people may comply with your wishes if they want what you offer them, or if they want to avoid what you threaten them with, but there is no guarantee of compliance or continued compliance. Although the attempt to change other people repeatedly fails, the myth about control continues to be a major cause of conflict.
With that in mind, you can focus on changing what it is possible for you to change in the attempt to influence how other people change.
Step two: Model how it could be.
Example is a powerful way to influence change in other people. That means showing, by example, the beneficial results of doing it your way.
In situations that require going against accepted ways, being a role model is what makes changing the world, or a small part of it, so difficult. Not only is it the hardest step in the process, it’s also the most important step. If you are not prepared to model your beliefs and values, how can you expect other people to change to your way?
What is stopping you? Maybe the things that stop you, stops other people. If so, you stand to gain a great deal in self-esteem if you can rid yourself of what you dislike in others or in the culture. You may need to spend time on reflection, learning new skills, or enhancing old skills. But the good news is, if you genuinely attempt to be an example of what you want the world to be, you are already modelling the process of change.
Step three: Persuade others.
In addition to being a model, you may need to encourage, persuade or inspire others to change by telling them the benefits to be gained by changing and the harm that can be avoided.
By changing yourself to become a role model, you immediately change your section of the world and, by more broadly sharing your beliefs and values with other people, you are on the way to changing the wider world.
Photo: Devil's Marbles, N.T. Australia.
Explaining how to change the world is quite simple: doing it is quite difficult. There are three steps to take if you want to change one other person, or a group, community, nation or the whole world.
First, you need to identify exactly what it is you want to change and why you want to change it.
Second, you need to demonstrate how you think it should be.
Third, you need to persuade the people involved to change.
STEP ONE: Identify what it is you want to change and why.
You need to be able to clearly state what you are concerned about and how you are affected by it. You may be unhappy about some action, or attitude, habit, ritual, rule or law; it could be an expectation or responsibility. It may be part of a culture or system. It may involve money, status, possessions or rights but, in every case, it will involve changing the beliefs, values or actions of other people. You may want a bureaucracy to change but it is people who make decisions at every level of a bureaucracy.
Your reason for wanting the change will include mention of the effects of some physical, material, mental, emotional or spiritual harm. Expressing that harm may involve references to health, feelings, reputation, and senses of security, belonging or importance.
Before deciding what to do, you also need to identify what you can change and what you can’t change. When you do that, you can focus on changing what you can change.
This involves coming to terms with the myth of being able to change other people. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot force other people to change. However, you can influence other people to change. The truth is that you can only control your own actions towards other people and your responses to what they do. Other people may comply with your wishes if they want what you offer them, or if they want to avoid what you threaten them with, but there is no guarantee of compliance or continued compliance. Although the attempt to change other people repeatedly fails, the myth about control continues to be a major cause of conflict.
With that in mind, you can focus on changing what it is possible for you to change in the attempt to influence how other people change.
Step two: Model how it could be.
Example is a powerful way to influence change in other people. That means showing, by example, the beneficial results of doing it your way.
In situations that require going against accepted ways, being a role model is what makes changing the world, or a small part of it, so difficult. Not only is it the hardest step in the process, it’s also the most important step. If you are not prepared to model your beliefs and values, how can you expect other people to change to your way?
What is stopping you? Maybe the things that stop you, stops other people. If so, you stand to gain a great deal in self-esteem if you can rid yourself of what you dislike in others or in the culture. You may need to spend time on reflection, learning new skills, or enhancing old skills. But the good news is, if you genuinely attempt to be an example of what you want the world to be, you are already modelling the process of change.
Step three: Persuade others.
In addition to being a model, you may need to encourage, persuade or inspire others to change by telling them the benefits to be gained by changing and the harm that can be avoided.
By changing yourself to become a role model, you immediately change your section of the world and, by more broadly sharing your beliefs and values with other people, you are on the way to changing the wider world.
Photo: Devil's Marbles, N.T. Australia.
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