Chapter Eight.
Limits.
We seek peace of mind but because ‘equality’ is the name of the
road to peace of mind we have to take everyone else with us.
The word ‘limits ’ is associated with many things, such as:
Limits and discipline.
Limits to patience.
Limits to knowledge and experience.
Limits cause frustration and anger.
Limits and saying ‘no’.
Limits to time and money.
Limits of responsibilities and privileges.
Up to now I have used the word ‘rules’ in a general way to cover rules, laws, limits, boundaries, routines, agreements, guidelines and ‘the way we do things.’ I will continue to do that but I acknowledge each has a meaning of its own. Rules and laws are usually precise, such as ‘no eating allowed in the lounge room,’ or ‘learner drivers must be accompanied by a licensed driver.’ Guidelines, such as the use of fairness and safety, guide us in making decisions, with some degree of give and take to suit the situation. Boundaries usually allow people to make their own decisions within a set area, or to make a certain type of decision, while routines, manners, agreements and ‘the way we do things’ can range anywhere from rigid to very flexible.
We all need to know the limit of our own knowledge and skills and those of other people. We need to know how far we can go before someone will pull us up, and it’s possible for some of the above concepts to be exceeded many times before someone blows up and says, ‘Right, that’s the limit, no more! If you want my cooperation, don’t do that!’
I also continue to use the family setting as the conflict situation we can all identify with in some way. Part of the reason for this is that using the nonviolence compass in the situation central to all our activities makes it more likely we will use it in all the roles we play in life.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
LIMITS ...............................................................................139
LIMITS AND DISCIPLINE ........................................................140
Kids need to know the limits.
Limits can lead to frustration.
FRUSTRATION AND ANGER .................................................144
Frustration and depression.
HAVING LIMITS MEANS SAYING 'NO' ........................................147
Not giving permission.
AN EXAMPLE OF SETTING LIMITS ..........................................149
Some limits are almost sure to fail.
Balancing limits of caring for self and others.
Equality and assertiveness.
LIMITED MONEY AND TIME ...................................................153
Pocket money.
THE LIMITS OF RESPONSIBILITY .............................................156
The limits of children's responsibility.
The limits of community responsibility.
The limits of parental responsibility.
Who or what are we accountable to?
The limits of privileges.
Go to Chapter Nine.
road to peace of mind we have to take everyone else with us.
The word ‘limits ’ is associated with many things, such as:
Limits and discipline.
Limits to patience.
Limits to knowledge and experience.
Limits cause frustration and anger.
Limits and saying ‘no’.
Limits to time and money.
Limits of responsibilities and privileges.
Up to now I have used the word ‘rules’ in a general way to cover rules, laws, limits, boundaries, routines, agreements, guidelines and ‘the way we do things.’ I will continue to do that but I acknowledge each has a meaning of its own. Rules and laws are usually precise, such as ‘no eating allowed in the lounge room,’ or ‘learner drivers must be accompanied by a licensed driver.’ Guidelines, such as the use of fairness and safety, guide us in making decisions, with some degree of give and take to suit the situation. Boundaries usually allow people to make their own decisions within a set area, or to make a certain type of decision, while routines, manners, agreements and ‘the way we do things’ can range anywhere from rigid to very flexible.
We all need to know the limit of our own knowledge and skills and those of other people. We need to know how far we can go before someone will pull us up, and it’s possible for some of the above concepts to be exceeded many times before someone blows up and says, ‘Right, that’s the limit, no more! If you want my cooperation, don’t do that!’
I also continue to use the family setting as the conflict situation we can all identify with in some way. Part of the reason for this is that using the nonviolence compass in the situation central to all our activities makes it more likely we will use it in all the roles we play in life.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
LIMITS ...............................................................................139
LIMITS AND DISCIPLINE ........................................................140
Kids need to know the limits.
Limits can lead to frustration.
FRUSTRATION AND ANGER .................................................144
Frustration and depression.
HAVING LIMITS MEANS SAYING 'NO' ........................................147
Not giving permission.
AN EXAMPLE OF SETTING LIMITS ..........................................149
Some limits are almost sure to fail.
Balancing limits of caring for self and others.
Equality and assertiveness.
LIMITED MONEY AND TIME ...................................................153
Pocket money.
THE LIMITS OF RESPONSIBILITY .............................................156
The limits of children's responsibility.
The limits of community responsibility.
The limits of parental responsibility.
Who or what are we accountable to?
The limits of privileges.
Go to Chapter Nine.
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