Chapter Nine.
Living with Competition.
Competition is OK when everyone wins.
Competition and domination are part of the fun and excitement of daily life and it would be a waste of time and effort trying to rid the world of either of them. Competition and domination are like many other potentially harmful things, such as fire and water, that we encounter every day and need to treat with great care. Familiarity with fire and water can lead to careless actions and disaster. The same applies to competition and domination. On the other hand, understanding competition and domination can help us live without suffering harm from the competitiveness of other people, or help us live without our competitiveness causing harm to others. When we can do that, knowing what we are doing and how we are doing it, we are well on the way to having peace of mind.
Although competition and domination are different, they are two sides of the one coin and both can have the same effect on our relationships. This chapter looks at living with competition and chapter ten will look at living with domination but first we need to consider the relationship between the two of them. The relationship between competition and domination is similar to the relationship between rewards and punishment, or the relationship between a promise and a threat. Although one is positive and the other is negative, each can lead to the same outcome. For example;
We use rewards and punishments as incentives to control someone’s
behaviour. The difference is that a person runs towards a reward or
runs away from a punishment, but the result is the same if the person
runs in the desired direction.
A promise and a threat both state what I intend to do, with the difference
being that forecasting something pleasant is a promise, but
forecasting something unpleasant is a threat.
Competition and domination both create a status difference in a
relationship. The distinction is that in competition the status gap is
created by lifting our own skills, knowledge, wealth or power above
the level of other people, whereas domination creates a status gap by
down-grading others, using force if necessary.
From nature’s point of view, all human differences are on the same horizontal level, which means people are equal but different. We are capable of seeing the differences between people the way nature does but when we notice any difference between things, including people, we tend to decide which is better; which we prefer; or which is the most important. In other words, we arrange them vertically from low to high importance or status. Horizontal differences don’t generally cause problems between people but status differences are potentially stressful, and harmful to relationships. Most of us, if not all of us, fear being judged, and those of us who are extremely sensitive to status differences may stress over small putdowns or feelings of inferiority. And members of some minority groups feel that way constantly.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
LIVING WITH COMPETITION .................................................................................163
THE ROOTS OF COMPETITION/DOMINATION .....................................................165
The lessons from our economic system.
The lessons from our legal system.
The lessons from the sporting world.
The lessons from employment.
The lessons from the school system.
The lessons from the world of recreation.
Competition can be beneficial.
ACHIEVING MORE BY COMPETING LESS ............................................................170
When are we successful?
What should self worth be based on?
ADVERSARIAL VERSUS TRUTH-SEEKING ARGUMENT ...........................................177
Consensus decision making.
Go to Chapter Ten.
Competition and domination are part of the fun and excitement of daily life and it would be a waste of time and effort trying to rid the world of either of them. Competition and domination are like many other potentially harmful things, such as fire and water, that we encounter every day and need to treat with great care. Familiarity with fire and water can lead to careless actions and disaster. The same applies to competition and domination. On the other hand, understanding competition and domination can help us live without suffering harm from the competitiveness of other people, or help us live without our competitiveness causing harm to others. When we can do that, knowing what we are doing and how we are doing it, we are well on the way to having peace of mind.
Although competition and domination are different, they are two sides of the one coin and both can have the same effect on our relationships. This chapter looks at living with competition and chapter ten will look at living with domination but first we need to consider the relationship between the two of them. The relationship between competition and domination is similar to the relationship between rewards and punishment, or the relationship between a promise and a threat. Although one is positive and the other is negative, each can lead to the same outcome. For example;
We use rewards and punishments as incentives to control someone’s
behaviour. The difference is that a person runs towards a reward or
runs away from a punishment, but the result is the same if the person
runs in the desired direction.
A promise and a threat both state what I intend to do, with the difference
being that forecasting something pleasant is a promise, but
forecasting something unpleasant is a threat.
Competition and domination both create a status difference in a
relationship. The distinction is that in competition the status gap is
created by lifting our own skills, knowledge, wealth or power above
the level of other people, whereas domination creates a status gap by
down-grading others, using force if necessary.
From nature’s point of view, all human differences are on the same horizontal level, which means people are equal but different. We are capable of seeing the differences between people the way nature does but when we notice any difference between things, including people, we tend to decide which is better; which we prefer; or which is the most important. In other words, we arrange them vertically from low to high importance or status. Horizontal differences don’t generally cause problems between people but status differences are potentially stressful, and harmful to relationships. Most of us, if not all of us, fear being judged, and those of us who are extremely sensitive to status differences may stress over small putdowns or feelings of inferiority. And members of some minority groups feel that way constantly.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
LIVING WITH COMPETITION .................................................................................163
THE ROOTS OF COMPETITION/DOMINATION .....................................................165
The lessons from our economic system.
The lessons from our legal system.
The lessons from the sporting world.
The lessons from employment.
The lessons from the school system.
The lessons from the world of recreation.
Competition can be beneficial.
ACHIEVING MORE BY COMPETING LESS ............................................................170
When are we successful?
What should self worth be based on?
ADVERSARIAL VERSUS TRUTH-SEEKING ARGUMENT ...........................................177
Consensus decision making.
Go to Chapter Ten.
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