Chapter One
Conflict is part of everyday life.
It’s up to us whether conflict is the path to destruction or peace.
Our education on resolving conflict began the first time our need to be fed clashed with our mother’s need for sleep. None of us can remember what we learnt from that clash but we do know how mothers usually respond and what happens if the crying baby is ignored. It’s such a simple scene but if we spent time reflecting on simple clashes like that we could learn a great deal about resolving all sorts of conflicts, from those involving minor dummy spits up to terrorism and modern warfare. Conflict refers to any situation where there is a clash of needs and the principles involved are the same whether conflict occurs in a family, at work, or between nations.
We already have a great deal of experience dealing with conflict and how it affects us emotionally because conflict is inevitable in all human relationships.
Sometimes the outcome feels great, but if a relationship is damaged we can feel terrible. Since the dynamics of conflict are the same regardless of where it occurs, I am going to mainly use family scenarios to make explanations easier and leave you to change details to suit your situation. For example, when I refer to a family you can think in terms of any group, business or organisation and the parent is then any person in a position of authority or responsibility. The child could represent any employee or person in need of the knowledge, training,care or protection that the authority figure can supply or arrange. And, like a child, the training of a group member or employee may initially be intense and gradually diminish as he gains experience in the job.
One example of how the lessons learned in one situation can be applied to other areas of life was brought home to me by a businessman who sought my help about relationship problems he was having at home. After we had talked for a while he exclaimed with surprise, ‘Hang on! What you’re suggesting is that I treat my wife and children the same way I treat my customers.’ It was as if he thought all that he had learned at work about customer relations were just sales strategies and had not noticed that the principles involved could be applied to relating to people in general. He needed to adapt what he learned at work and apply it to his home situation but in this book I will reverse that and use the home as the training ground for finding peace and happiness in all areas of life. This is because some kind of family life is common to us all, and
the dynamics of conflict are essentially the same in all relationships.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
CONFLICT IS PART OF EVERYDAY LIFE .........................................................1
My early journey.
LINKING EQUALITY WITH PEACE OF MIND ......................................................3
How can people be equal in a dependent relationship?
Does equality actually exist?
LIVING IN OUR MAD WORLD .......................................................................10
Time poor people.
CULTURAL/TRADITIONAL BELIEFS AND VALUES ...........................................12
Competition, domination and inequality.
Stories shape our thinking.
Where does authority come from?
CREATIVENESS ........................................................................................23
Why we need to be creative.
Why commit to 'more equal' relationships?
Go to Chapter Two
Our education on resolving conflict began the first time our need to be fed clashed with our mother’s need for sleep. None of us can remember what we learnt from that clash but we do know how mothers usually respond and what happens if the crying baby is ignored. It’s such a simple scene but if we spent time reflecting on simple clashes like that we could learn a great deal about resolving all sorts of conflicts, from those involving minor dummy spits up to terrorism and modern warfare. Conflict refers to any situation where there is a clash of needs and the principles involved are the same whether conflict occurs in a family, at work, or between nations.
We already have a great deal of experience dealing with conflict and how it affects us emotionally because conflict is inevitable in all human relationships.
Sometimes the outcome feels great, but if a relationship is damaged we can feel terrible. Since the dynamics of conflict are the same regardless of where it occurs, I am going to mainly use family scenarios to make explanations easier and leave you to change details to suit your situation. For example, when I refer to a family you can think in terms of any group, business or organisation and the parent is then any person in a position of authority or responsibility. The child could represent any employee or person in need of the knowledge, training,care or protection that the authority figure can supply or arrange. And, like a child, the training of a group member or employee may initially be intense and gradually diminish as he gains experience in the job.
One example of how the lessons learned in one situation can be applied to other areas of life was brought home to me by a businessman who sought my help about relationship problems he was having at home. After we had talked for a while he exclaimed with surprise, ‘Hang on! What you’re suggesting is that I treat my wife and children the same way I treat my customers.’ It was as if he thought all that he had learned at work about customer relations were just sales strategies and had not noticed that the principles involved could be applied to relating to people in general. He needed to adapt what he learned at work and apply it to his home situation but in this book I will reverse that and use the home as the training ground for finding peace and happiness in all areas of life. This is because some kind of family life is common to us all, and
the dynamics of conflict are essentially the same in all relationships.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
CONFLICT IS PART OF EVERYDAY LIFE .........................................................1
My early journey.
LINKING EQUALITY WITH PEACE OF MIND ......................................................3
How can people be equal in a dependent relationship?
Does equality actually exist?
LIVING IN OUR MAD WORLD .......................................................................10
Time poor people.
CULTURAL/TRADITIONAL BELIEFS AND VALUES ...........................................12
Competition, domination and inequality.
Stories shape our thinking.
Where does authority come from?
CREATIVENESS ........................................................................................23
Why we need to be creative.
Why commit to 'more equal' relationships?
Go to Chapter Two
Click to set custom HTML