Chapter Two
Basic Tools of Nonviolence.
The compass called nonviolence is a
state of mind that transforms familiar things
into the tools of nonviolence.
All of us are creative and we can achieve wonderful things when we have something worthwhile to aim for and the right tools to work with. Our goal is to have peace of mind by transforming conflict into creative conflict and we are about to start exploring the tools that help us achieve our goal.
Four tools are essential for our basic tool kit. Others that are used for specific purposes will be added later but these four are of fundamental importance. You already use three of them, and maybe even the whole four, but I want to relate them to equality and nonviolence.
Love.
Manners.
Example.
Centring.
Grounded love.
We would not normally expect ‘love’ to be classed as a tool but we are about to see that a certain kind of love can be deliberately used to build and maintain equality in relationships.
In our English language the word ‘love’ has many meanings and can be very confusing. ‘I love you’ has an entirely different meaning when said to a friend than to a son or daughter, and different again when said in a romantic setting. And then there is the love a person can be expressing for all human kind by sacrificing one’s life to save others. The Greeks have different words for these different types of love. ‘Eros’ is the word for passionate physical love, ‘philia’ is the affectionate cooperation between friends, ‘storge’ means family love, and ‘agape’ is the sacrificial love for all humankind that doesn’t ask for or expect anything in return.
Many people have attempted to explain what love is and have fallen short of the mark, so I will just say that, in general, love means to care for, and care about, someone. And because we care for, and care about, our own well being, that ‘someone’ can be someone else or oneself.
Love is generally thought of as an emotion, but love also has to be expressed. The expression of love can be in words or action, but quite often the way people treat each other is not what most of us would call ‘love.’ For example, I can say ‘I love you’ at the same time as I do you great harm. So we need some guide for deciding what behaviour expresses love. We explain what sort of love we mean in English by adding a word to form phrases such as: romantic love; tough love; parental love; sibling love; and so on.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
BASIC TOOLS OF NONVIOLENCE ..............................................28
GROUNDED LOVE ...................................................................29
MANNERS ............................................................................32
Teaching children manners.
Grounded love, manners and unacceptable behaviour.
It's never too late to teach manners.
Fundamental manners.
The need for new manners.
EXAMPLE .............................................................................39
CENTRING ................................................................................42
What is centring?
Centring exercises.
Engaging the heart.
Dealing with a situation.
Calming exercise after a stressful; situation.
Go to Chapter Three
state of mind that transforms familiar things
into the tools of nonviolence.
All of us are creative and we can achieve wonderful things when we have something worthwhile to aim for and the right tools to work with. Our goal is to have peace of mind by transforming conflict into creative conflict and we are about to start exploring the tools that help us achieve our goal.
Four tools are essential for our basic tool kit. Others that are used for specific purposes will be added later but these four are of fundamental importance. You already use three of them, and maybe even the whole four, but I want to relate them to equality and nonviolence.
Love.
Manners.
Example.
Centring.
Grounded love.
We would not normally expect ‘love’ to be classed as a tool but we are about to see that a certain kind of love can be deliberately used to build and maintain equality in relationships.
In our English language the word ‘love’ has many meanings and can be very confusing. ‘I love you’ has an entirely different meaning when said to a friend than to a son or daughter, and different again when said in a romantic setting. And then there is the love a person can be expressing for all human kind by sacrificing one’s life to save others. The Greeks have different words for these different types of love. ‘Eros’ is the word for passionate physical love, ‘philia’ is the affectionate cooperation between friends, ‘storge’ means family love, and ‘agape’ is the sacrificial love for all humankind that doesn’t ask for or expect anything in return.
Many people have attempted to explain what love is and have fallen short of the mark, so I will just say that, in general, love means to care for, and care about, someone. And because we care for, and care about, our own well being, that ‘someone’ can be someone else or oneself.
Love is generally thought of as an emotion, but love also has to be expressed. The expression of love can be in words or action, but quite often the way people treat each other is not what most of us would call ‘love.’ For example, I can say ‘I love you’ at the same time as I do you great harm. So we need some guide for deciding what behaviour expresses love. We explain what sort of love we mean in English by adding a word to form phrases such as: romantic love; tough love; parental love; sibling love; and so on.
CHAPTER HEADINGS.
BASIC TOOLS OF NONVIOLENCE ..............................................28
GROUNDED LOVE ...................................................................29
MANNERS ............................................................................32
Teaching children manners.
Grounded love, manners and unacceptable behaviour.
It's never too late to teach manners.
Fundamental manners.
The need for new manners.
EXAMPLE .............................................................................39
CENTRING ................................................................................42
What is centring?
Centring exercises.
Engaging the heart.
Dealing with a situation.
Calming exercise after a stressful; situation.
Go to Chapter Three
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