MORE THAN JUST A RED NOSE. By Bob Myers.
The signposts along the road to depression, violence and suicide are so familiar that we may not notice them, even to the extent of believing none exist. So let me tell you a little story.
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph play in any reindeer games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”
Then how the reindeer loved him and they shouted out with glee, “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history. (Johnny Marks)
But what if that Christmas Eve had not been so foggy? Rudolph’s torment would have continued and, chances are, he would become increasingly isolated and lonely.
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness may have led him into depression and eventually into believing suicide was the only way out. Or anger and resentment may have built up until he picked up a semi-automatic rifle and mowed his tormentors down.
Fortunately for Rudolph and the reindeer, life presented an opportunity and someone saw the potential in his ‘oddness’ that made him important in the scheme of things. His tormentors then basked in the glow from his fame and loved him for it.
However, does rescuing work as a long term answer, or did it just take Rudolph into a different sort of hell? Rudolph wasn’t accepted and loved because he was Rudolph: he simply became the flavour of the month and the message to him was that he was loved only when he succeeded. Rescuing, on its own, may have condemned him to a life of climbing mountains to avoid being rejected.
The reindeer were schoolyard bullies and odds are that there is a Rudolph in each school who feels rejected and isolated because of taunts and name-calling about being different; physically, academically, or in background. Bullying reindeer can be found in the workplace, in sporting organisations, and the media. Teachers, bosses and other members of the community are reindeer when, through ignorance or apathy, they do nothing about the bullying they know is occurring.
Rudolphs who have the support of family and friends usually come through OK because they feel important as they are, regardless of whether they ever do something spectacular. But what about the others? Do they keep trying to fit in? Maybe they start ‘acting up’ to draw attention to the problem? Or will they become more isolated and depressed? Are they only noticed when they do harm to themselves or someone else? And then only to punish them with more name-calling about not being able to take it?
So far, bullying in Australia has not led to the violence seen in American schools, but give it time. Was Martin Bryant a Rudolph? He was certainly isolated, a loner. Martin Bryant must be held accountable for killing all those people in Port Arthur but were the reindeer in his story held accountable for the part they played in creating him?
A few years ago, on my morning walk, I passed a young teenage girl who had the characteristics of Down Syndrome and I wondered if she had read the article in that morning’s newspaper about the marvels of ultrasounds detecting abnormalities, like Down Syndrome or dwarfism, so pregnant women could consider abortion. If she read it, and was a target of bullying at school, maybe she would start to understand why the children of the community thought it was OK to treat her badly.
That newspaper article also sent a message to all dwarfs about pregnancies being terminated, allegedly because the child ‘suffered’ from dwarfism. The babies don’t suffer from dwarfism but from the attitude of other people. Who were the reindeer in that story? The people in the health system? The media?
In Australia we believe that justice (a fair go) is part of our culture, enshrined in our history as part of who we are. We are rightly proud of Australia’s multicultural society that surely proves how tolerant we are to people who are different. But is everything in the garden rosy? Obviously there is something drastically wrong with our way of life when so many people, from all sorts of backgrounds, are suffering because of bullying.
Exposing social and structural violence, along with the cultural causes of violence, is an important part of being nonviolent. So if you would like to know more about nonviolence, explore other pages on this site.
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph play in any reindeer games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, “Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”
Then how the reindeer loved him and they shouted out with glee, “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history. (Johnny Marks)
But what if that Christmas Eve had not been so foggy? Rudolph’s torment would have continued and, chances are, he would become increasingly isolated and lonely.
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness may have led him into depression and eventually into believing suicide was the only way out. Or anger and resentment may have built up until he picked up a semi-automatic rifle and mowed his tormentors down.
Fortunately for Rudolph and the reindeer, life presented an opportunity and someone saw the potential in his ‘oddness’ that made him important in the scheme of things. His tormentors then basked in the glow from his fame and loved him for it.
However, does rescuing work as a long term answer, or did it just take Rudolph into a different sort of hell? Rudolph wasn’t accepted and loved because he was Rudolph: he simply became the flavour of the month and the message to him was that he was loved only when he succeeded. Rescuing, on its own, may have condemned him to a life of climbing mountains to avoid being rejected.
The reindeer were schoolyard bullies and odds are that there is a Rudolph in each school who feels rejected and isolated because of taunts and name-calling about being different; physically, academically, or in background. Bullying reindeer can be found in the workplace, in sporting organisations, and the media. Teachers, bosses and other members of the community are reindeer when, through ignorance or apathy, they do nothing about the bullying they know is occurring.
Rudolphs who have the support of family and friends usually come through OK because they feel important as they are, regardless of whether they ever do something spectacular. But what about the others? Do they keep trying to fit in? Maybe they start ‘acting up’ to draw attention to the problem? Or will they become more isolated and depressed? Are they only noticed when they do harm to themselves or someone else? And then only to punish them with more name-calling about not being able to take it?
So far, bullying in Australia has not led to the violence seen in American schools, but give it time. Was Martin Bryant a Rudolph? He was certainly isolated, a loner. Martin Bryant must be held accountable for killing all those people in Port Arthur but were the reindeer in his story held accountable for the part they played in creating him?
A few years ago, on my morning walk, I passed a young teenage girl who had the characteristics of Down Syndrome and I wondered if she had read the article in that morning’s newspaper about the marvels of ultrasounds detecting abnormalities, like Down Syndrome or dwarfism, so pregnant women could consider abortion. If she read it, and was a target of bullying at school, maybe she would start to understand why the children of the community thought it was OK to treat her badly.
That newspaper article also sent a message to all dwarfs about pregnancies being terminated, allegedly because the child ‘suffered’ from dwarfism. The babies don’t suffer from dwarfism but from the attitude of other people. Who were the reindeer in that story? The people in the health system? The media?
In Australia we believe that justice (a fair go) is part of our culture, enshrined in our history as part of who we are. We are rightly proud of Australia’s multicultural society that surely proves how tolerant we are to people who are different. But is everything in the garden rosy? Obviously there is something drastically wrong with our way of life when so many people, from all sorts of backgrounds, are suffering because of bullying.
Exposing social and structural violence, along with the cultural causes of violence, is an important part of being nonviolent. So if you would like to know more about nonviolence, explore other pages on this site.
Book reviewers are invited to click here to obtain a review copy of books by Bob Myers.
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