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ABORTION: THE TABOO TOPIC.

21/4/2014

3 Comments

 
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Abortion is classed as a taboo subject, and that's reason enough to talk about it. It seems to me that the conflict waged between pro-life and pro-choice people will go on forever, simply because both sides are bogged down and spinning their wheels in an unwinnable argument over the morality of abortion. This is a shame because I believe both sides actually agree on the most important aspect of abortion and could work together to prevent a great deal of suffering. (I should state here that I am anti-abortion, which is easy for me because I will never be faced with the decision.)

Pro-choice people are not evil and are not stupid. In general, they readily accept the need to restrict human choices when there are sound, logical reasons for those restrictions. Failing to win them over to the anti-abortion camp doesn't mean we have lost or are wrong, we just don't have a convincing enough argument. And I doubt that we ever will because most anti-abortion people say, "I am against abortion, but in cases where......" Any exception means even pro-lifers realise there is a subjective choice involved.

The argument as to whether a woman should or should not have the freedom to choose abortion is like arguing whether a man has the freedom to choose to suicide. There is no escaping the fact that it's the woman who makes the decision. She may have no choice about getting pregnant but she has the say about ending it. Others can decide whether abortion is legal, but making it illegal doesn't remove her choice, it only adds a different dimension to her choice. Other people can provide options and alternatives, they can provide counselling and put pressure on her to decide either way but the fact remains that the decision is hers to make. If denied a safe method, she can decide to use unsafe methods. It's impossible to deny her the choice unless she is closely guarded 24/7. She has the choice; it's really only a matter of whether a safe way is part of that choice.

Being pro-choice doesn't mean being pro-abortion. I believe those who advocate abortion on demand are against abortion as such. They are not pushing for women to get pregnant just to assert the right to have an abortion. They want women to have the right to terminate unwanted pregnancies. These same people would go to great expense and effort to save a wanted pregnancy or to save a very premature baby. The key word is 'wanted'.

People on both sides of the abortion debate are intelligent and caring and probably agree that every pregnancy should be welcomed. Most anti-abortionists would be over the moon if they could halve the number of abortions performed each year and I believe pro-choice people would be just as pleased if the number of unwanted pregnancies dropped by half.

The question is, ‘Which is more important, winning an argument or reducing the number of abortions?’ Both sides could achieve a great deal by pooling their passionate energy and cooperating to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies. The combined resources of both camps could study the causes of unwanted pregnancies and then unite to eliminate those causes. We can do it if we really want to.


Bob Myers,
Author of Travelling the Road of Peace and Happiness.

3 Comments
Laura Refka
23/4/2014 01:18:24 am

I agree with you, Bob, that when opposing sides can sit down and discuss their differences, they may find that they have more common ground than they initially thought. I believe that most people that feel passionately about a subject don't realize that the opposing side also wants what's best for their family, friends, neighbors, and self.
I am Pro-Choice, but I am personally against abortion. Many underage women do not feel as though they have the option to give their baby up for adoption, whether due to fear of repercussions when parents find out, and/or all of the other negative effects they would suffer as a teenage mother. Also, they may feel that they wouldn't be able to continue their education and would end up raising a baby at poverty level without financial assistance from the father of the baby and have no hope for a happy future, for themselves or their child.
As with anything, I think the key is education. Starting at home, with the parent(s) helping their child understand that no matter how uncomfortable or divisive the subject matter, that they can count on them for the love, support and guidance they need.
Also, continuing in school, resources need to be continually made available to teenagers for anonymous referrals. Then, a teenager can discuss their situation with someone other than her parents before she makes a decision. The counselor could help her with ways to broach the subject with her parents and maybe to be there with her for support and also to answer any questions the parents may have.
God gives teenage girls a sex drive, often times long before they are mature enough to make good decisions about their sexuality. Birth control methods are not foolproof. Abstinence is not always realistic. Every girl and her background and situation is different and needs to be treated as such.
I'm really glad to hear you say that as a man, Bob, you understand your role in a decision only a girl or woman can make.

Reply
Peter G Mackie link
24/4/2014 01:52:41 pm

Thank you for your comment, Laura. Although I am against abortion, I agree that more support should be given to teenage girls who find themselves in a difficult situation and that they should also be made aware of the possibilities for adoption. The reason that abortion is such a controversial issue is that many people, including myself, see abortion as equivalent to murder, the child being just as alive within the womb as it is after it is born and, for that reason, I would do everything to discourage abortion. This would include making sure that contraception and contraceptive advice are made easily available to young girls and to poorer women in some countries. Of course, I do also see the point that, if abortion was illegal, many women would resort to illegal abortion, so there is not always an easy answer.

Reply
Bob Myers link
23/4/2014 08:31:34 am

Hi Laura, thank you for sharing your thoughts on a subject most people avoid commenting on. I agree with what you wrote and note that you are both Pro-Choice and against abortion, as I believe most people are. Maybe both sides of the debate will eventually do as you say and explore the points they agree on. Soon I hope.

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    Author

    Bob Myers owned and operated an electronics sales and service business before gaining a degree in sociology and further training in relationship counselling, conflict resolution and mediation. He worked in that field for more than thirty years, mainly with teenagers and their families. For 16 years he was the director of a non-government residential facility for teenagers. He is the author of three books on parenting as well as :
    Travelling the Road of Peace and Happiness.

    Bob is dedicated to nonviolence as a way of life; a founding member of Pace e Bene Australia (PeBA); and a PeBA nonviolence facilitator.

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